Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I'm passing your future prison.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
