i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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