I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
