Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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