Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
