So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
