My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
