Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize
