I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
