I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
