He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
