ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
you inspire me to be a worse person
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
