Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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