I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
