she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
