sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
