when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
the gays at disneyland are vicious
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Randomize
