There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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