But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
