Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Randomize
