I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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