I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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