Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
