uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
