Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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