I think I can smell my own vagina right now
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
