oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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