i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
All I want is dick and wine.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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