She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
