come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Randomize
