And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
