Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
