hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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