Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
