Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
