He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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