i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
