this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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