funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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