Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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