HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
