Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Randomize
