i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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