this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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