I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
