lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I think people are normalizing furries
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
