Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
