Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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