you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
