I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
